Batman #65: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

I gave the initial issue of this team-up my lowest grade ever. My co-worker, reviewing the next book in the series (Flash #64), rated his chapter even lower. I am sorry to say that this issue was worse than both previous chapters.

I am not going to spend much time writing about it because grading anything harshly gives me a headache (I can never forget that the vast majority of creators are trying their best to make something beautiful, moving, exciting, or fun for the fans and therefore it is important to respect the intention when writing reviews) but despite the best efforts of the visual artists, the writing was so abysmal that it is impossible to avoid being harsh.

So I am just going to list all the problems I’ve got with the script as quickly as possible to get this over with:

1. The action is incoherent. There doesn’t seem to be any regard for cause and effect. Why is Flash giving Batman a piggyback ride when Batman is supposed to be ‘bait’ for the zombies? What does Batman hope to accomplish by plowing his jet into that building?

2. The characters are speaking in voices which are absolutely alien to their natures. Batman doesn’t generally talk like a 90’s frat bro. The Flash is usually regarded as funny or witty. His dialogue is not usually relegated to the level of grunting ‘Hulk Smash!’ at people until they fall down.

1. 3. None of the motivations displayed by any of the characters make much sense. Even Gotham Girl’s otherwise natural desire to be a ‘hero’ is undermined by the fact that she seems to be primarily interested in smashing up as much landscape as possible. There’s supposed to be a contrast between the ideal of heroism that Gotham Girl is pursuing and the reality lived by Flash and Batman, but in order for that to work the writer would first have to present us with a firm idea (any firm idea) of what heroism means, and he doesn’t.

These points are just the beginning, really. Given world enough, and time, I could provide a more thorough analysis, but I don’t believe that my sanity could take it.

I must state, again, that it’s clear that Tomeu Morey, Steve Wands, Chris Burnham and Nathan Fairbairn are doing their best (performing heroically, if you will) by meeting a futile script with energy and skill, but that’s not nearly enough to redeem a bad book.

If you are debating spending money on this one, don’t.