DIe #19
Recap
The final encounter approaches. Everything to play for, even if everyone’s already lost.
Review
As the end of the party’s journey grows near, DIE forces one player to confront perhaps her greatest challenge yet: herself. In DIE #19’s first striking composition by Stephanie Hans, Ash stands on a stony bridge confronting a giant fiery version of herself in a Gandalf-v-Balrog-esque moment. The image neatly sets up the issue’s prominent Tolkien allusions, but it also prepares the audience for how Kieron Gillen uses those allusions to create a queer allegory for coming out and self acceptance.
From DIE #19’s cover, poignantly depicting Ash touching a keyhole over her heart, to its final pages, Gillen and Hans fill DIE #19 with the symbolism of liberation. Unlike every other member of the party, Ash chose to enter the world of Die with a different gender presentation and different name (Ash rather than Dominic). She’s locked away that part of her gender in Die. Now, it demands to be freed. DIE’s narrative makes Ash’s queerness something she needs to accept: it physically blocks the way forward not just for her but for everyone she cares about.
Ash’s role, in the world of Die, has been a Dictator: speech throughout the series has been her superpower — one she’s often used to harm other people. As a result, she’s worn a physical muzzle. In a breathtaking moment, Ash’s giant self destroys the muzzle, literally and figuratively freeing her to speak. As Izzy tells Ash, silence can be just as harmful as speech. When she finally talks about her gender, Ash fears the words will come out wrong, and truth be told they come out messily. Gender can be messy. This is DIE #19’s most verbose scene and Hans visually depicts every expression — anger, fear, trepidation — with great care. As Ash struggles for words, Izzy gently offers one: “genderfluid.” Genderfluid people, for those unaware, don’t experience gender as static but as something that changes over time. A genderfluid person might feel like a man or woman or any number of nonbinary genders at varying points, and all of those genders are equally real. Ultimately, Ash isn’t certain “genderfluid” describes her. However, as a reader, it describes me. Genderfluidity is rarely shown or addressed in comics. If it comes up, it’s usually in the inhuman context of gods, aliens, and shapeshifters. I’ve spent the last few months writing extensively on the topic of genderfluid representation in Marvel. Now, encountering this moment in a (non-Marvel) book I’ve adored for the last two years feels especially significant.
Queer people continue to struggle to see ourselves represented in the media we consume and the poetry of DIE #19 is twofold: the narrative itself enacts queer representation, but it also depicts how queer people continue to find acceptance and identity through roleplaying games. For Ash and many real queer people, RPGs offer a safe space to explore gender and sexual orientation. As Isabelle Lichtenstein explains on the board game site Dicebreaker, due to the inherently improvisatory nature of RPGs, “the ability to be whoever you want becomes ingrained in the foundation of [RPGs] and normalised to such a degree that queer players can feel more comfortable exploring their identities because, well, everyone else is too.” As Gillen shows through Ash’s in-game character, RPGs can provide a place to try on a new name, pronouns, or gender presentation without fear of judgement. Roleplaying can also provide an escape or place to process real-world struggles. Coming out can be terrifying: it’s an act of overcoming both internalized bigotry and the knowledge of the violence it exposes you to. However, as Gillen and Hans depict so gracefully in DIE #19, it can also be liberating and renewing.
The way Ash finally comes to terms with herself is portrayed with both beauty and nuance, while in other respects DIE #19 continues to be filled with twists and tragedy in equal measure. Whether DIE’s ending proves intimate or operatic, its penultimate issue offers a perfect balance of both along with the sort of story queer audiences deserve to see more frequently.
Final Thoughts
DIE #19 is a beautiful and poignant exploration of finding and accepting queerness through RPGs. With its stunning visuals and gripping narrative, it’s a shame the journey is ending soon.
DIE #19: Gender’s Game
- Writing - 10/1010/10
- Storyline - 10/1010/10
- Art - 10/1010/10
- Color - 10/1010/10
- Cover Art - 10/1010/10