Bill and Ted Face the Disappointment

No Way Dude!  Bill and Ted, the most excellent time traveling teens are back!  Only it’s been 30 years, and Bill and Ted have still not written the song that is supposed to unite the universe in harmony.  Wyld Stallyns has disbanded over creative differences and Bill and Ted are reduced to playing Elks Lodges.  They are still married to the 15^th century princesses and each have a daughter, Billie and Thea, who adore and take after their fathers.

The duo are approached by Rufus’ daughter, Kelly, who takes them to the future where they are informed by a council that they have until 7:17pm that day to write the song or all of space and time will cease to exist.  Bill and Ted decide that the best way to accomplish this, is to steal the original time traveling telephone booth and steal the song from their future selves.

In the meantime, Kelly’s mother, the Great Leader, believes that it is not a song that is going to unite the world, but the death of Bill and Ted, so she sends a robot to destroy them.  Finding this out from Kelly, Thea and Billie embark on their own journey to help their fathers by finding famous musicians to play in their dad’s band.

Can Bill and Ted find the song, save their marriages, rescue their daughters and unite the world in harmony before it ceases to exist.  Who cares, Dude!  Bill and Ted Face the Music should have been called Bill and Ted face the firing squad.  By the end of the movie I wanted the universe to end to put me out of my misery.

The original Bill and Ted movies were a product of their time.  With movies of the same period like “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Valley Girl”, the world embraced the surfer lingo.  The two clueless teens with hearts of gold were novel and funny in 1989.   They won over the hearts of the Princesses and their audience.  But seeing the pair as 50 year old men who have not moved on or grown in any capacity was just difficult….no painful to watch.   Most time travel movies have circular logic that can make you dizzy.  For example, if all of space and time is about to be destroyed in 2020, how can Bill and Ted travel to their future selves to get a song that they have to write to save all of space and time in 2020?

I did chuckle a couple of times throughout the film, but the leads comic timing was way off.  The reactions and moments that made up the majority of humor in the first movies were misplaced and forced in this ill-fated sequel.

The subplot involving the daughters collecting the band members was a much more enjoyable part of the movie.  The film would have done well to have switched and had Thea and Billie the main characters.  The girls mannerisms mimic their fathers and were much more natural and believable.

This movie tries to cash in on its nostalgic value, but instead it just embarrasses itself.  As a fan of the first two movies, I was hoping for something more original instead of a rehash of the actors trying to do the same characters. 30 years later.