Anthony Bergamini
What do Friday The 13th (2009), the Taco Bell Chihuahua, and The New Adventures of Old Christine have in common? Well, a lot actually! All of these pop culture phenomena are deeply rooted in the early 2000s, brought little to their cultural areas, and feel like pale comparisons to other parts of the cultural landscape that they are often compared to. But, beyond all of that, I am betting that everyone reading this had the same exact thought when they read that list of items. “Oh s***, I forgot about that!” And that is the best way to describe the experience of rewatching Friday The 13th (2009) in 2024. But, oddly enough, this isn’t going to be a hit piece about one of the worst attempts to reinvigorate a franchise of all time… no… this is going to be a hit piece about all the people who vehemently hated this movie but loved Alien: Romulus! Didn’t predict that, did you!
Before making everyone suddenly realize that the two aforementioned films are exactly the same as one another, it is worth mentioning the other elephant in the room… what is with all these TV actors? Yes, you did recognize Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, and Aaron Yoo from The CW, and that definitely is the same Amanda Righetti from The Mentalist. This film is definitely a blast to the not so distant past of fifteen years ago, but that is mainly because of this bizarrely, pre-fame cast of characters that would go on to be way more well known for their iconic TV portrayals. And because everyone else is thinking this, we are referring to this film as TV’s Friday the 13th. Sorry, not sorry!
But back to the meat of all of this, Alien: Romulus… I mean TV’s Friday the 13th, oh boy this is going to get confusing…
The clear and obvious similarities between these two films are the bizarre number of ways that these films try to mirror their source material. Both films are structured exactly like the original films in their respected franchises. Let’s start with TV’s Friday the 13th and stop me if you have heard this before. A group of unsuspecting teenagers go to a camp on the lake and are picked off one by one by a monstrous killer with a messy past. At some point, two characters have sex, which is a huge no go for the killer who takes them out unceremoniously. By the end of the film, almost all the main cast is dead, but it is revealed that the killer is in fact alive.
How about Alien: Romulus? A group of characters enter a mysterious space station that contains life forms that they have never seen before. Soon, one of the main characters is wrapped up by a face hugger, leading to the eventual birth of an alien. The titular alien then goes on to kill the rest of the cast except for the poor main character who thinks she escapes, only to have one final encounter with the beast before shooting it into space.
That’s right! These movies are almost exact replicas of their source material. But why is Alien: Romulus loved by critics, leaving TV’s Friday the 13th with a 25% on Rotten Tomatoes? Well, it is all about marketing, branding, and the final product. TV’s Friday the 13th’s biggest sin is that it brings NOTHING new to the table. Sure, both films almost identically are mirrored in plot, but TV’s Friday the 13th even kept the subtext the same. It was almost as if the filmmakers were trying to outdo themselves by hitting as many genre tropes as humanly possible. Yes, the original Friday the 13th played with the “sex is a sin” trope right from the beginning. But TV’s Friday the 13th made sure to hit that beat once again, albeit a little bit later in the film’s runtime. There is practically zero love for the franchise felt within this film, especially as a half-witted attempt at a backstory attempts to justify Jason Vorhees’s actions. By the time 2009 came around, all the fear and nuance from this franchise had fizzled out, and instead of reinventing it, the filmmakers thought they could just strike gold with an extinguished flame.
On the flip side, Alien: Romulus does feel like a love letter to the franchise. Yes, it hits the same plot beats and references itself in too many ways, but it brings a new message to the forefront, while showing that the aspects that made the original film so scary are still terrifying to this day. It almost feels like Alien: Romulus wouldn’t exist if not for the failure of TV’s Friday the 13th. It sometimes takes the film industry too many tries to ultimately come up with the best possible reboot strategy.
Ultimately, TV’s Friday the 13th, may be remembered for several things, how unmemorable it was, how engrained it is in the early 2000s, or even how many TV stars were used, but ultimately it should be remembered as a cautionary tale for film executives who think that easy money comes from repetition.
In actuality, easy money comes from repetition for properties that people still care about.
