Santa’s Slay: Spreading Yule Tide Fear!

What if Santa Clause wasn’t nice, but very naughty?  Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) is about to find out the real meaning of Christmas and to his horror, that Santa Clause does exist.  Teenager Nicholas lives with his crackpot grandfather (Robert Culp) who has built a secret bunker in the basement to survive Christmas.  When Nicholas finds the bunker he presses his grandfather to tell him why. Reading from the “Book of Klaus”, it is reveals the origin of Santa Claus (seen as a stop motion animated sequence ala the old Rudolph movie).  There have only been two virgin births recorded in time.  Jesus from Mary and God,  and Santa from Erica and Satan.  Christmas was originally the “Day of Slaying” until 1005 AD, when an angel bet Santa that he could beat him in a curling match.  Santa loses and as a result must stop the killing and be kind to humankind for the next 1000 years.  That time has just ended and Santa is on his way to revive the Slayings.  He is going to start in Hell township where Nicholas and his crazy grandfather live.  Joined by Nicholas’ love interest Mary “Mac” Mackenzie (Emilie de Raven) they try to outwit and stay alive until Christmas ends when Santa loses his powers.

Santa (Bill Goldberg), freed from his curse of kindness, is hot on the trail of Nicholas and Mac and along the way kills who ever he can using various holiday staples as weapons, including exploding coal, a menorah, a roast turkey leg and a tree topper star thrown like a ninja.  Along the way, Grandpa is run over by Santa’s reindeer and killed, only to return to life, exposing him as the Angel that originally cursed Santa, thus the reason Santa started specifically in Hell Township.  Will Nick and Mac survive Christmas?  Watch and find out!

This is my all-time favorite Christmas themed horror movie.  Evil Santa has been done before, but usually it isn’t the real Santa Clause!  But a serial killer in a Santa outfit.  The twist in this movie being that Santa is really evil, and over the centuries, humanity has forgotten that and turned what was once a day to fear, to a day to cheer.

With perfect casting including James Caan (uncredited) and Fran Drescher as the head of an unfortunate family eating Christmas dinner when Santa first attacks.  Douglas Smith and Emilie de Raven are fun to watch as friends who both want a bit more but aren’t sure who should make the first move.  Robert Culp as the crackpot grandfather / retired Angel, who gave up immortality for Nicholas’ grandmother is also well performed.  But the real star of the movie is Goldberg as Santa.  The buffest, scariest, funniest Santa around.  With corny one-line zingers, this Santa is just pure fun to watch.  The production value for a direct to DVD released movie is surprisingly good.  From the animated sequence explaining Santa’s origin to the darker version of Santa’s traditional outfit the movie is well done.  The red coat and black belt are tempered with a dirty grey fur and beard instead of the pure white versions we are used to seeing.   The writing is clever and the story flows well from scene to scene.  The sequence in the strip club will put smile on your face, even if it doesn’t have a “happy ending” for the strippers.