Charles Singh
2012’s The Watch is a hilarious film about visitors from beyond our world. Ever gaze at the stars and wonder if anything is gazing back? Glenview, Ohio found out that we aren’t alone the hard way. Luckily, the town of Glenview has its very own rag-tag defense force: a foursome of highly unqualified neighborhood watch members.
The team consists of Evan (Ben Stiller), Bob (Vince Vaugh), Franklin (Jonah Hill), and Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade). Evan is the ideal citizen, volunteering every minute of his free time from his management position at Cosco to the community of Glenview. Evan founded a running club, a Spanish club for seniors, and even created a voluntary role (Deputy Secretary) at the city council. He is an overachiever who loves his town and his country. Evan believes that in Glenview, “dreams really do come true.” He uses his promotion from Assistant to Senior Manager (after 12 years) to support that belief.
One night security guard Antonio (Joe Nunez) is brutally murdered inside Costco on the same day he is naturalized as an American citizen. The police describe the murder as akin to a vicious animal attack. Guzman was left without his skin. After losing his friend and coworker Antonio and lack of concern from law enforcement, Evan announced that he was forming a neighborhood watch at a town football game.
The night of the first neighborhood watch meeting, only three men attend to join, Bob, Franklin, and Jamarcus. Bob is a husband and father looking to cut loose and hang with the guys. Franklin is a high school dropout, and police academy reject looking to kick ass and take names. He failed the physical, written, and mental health exams. Jamarcus is…foreign in more ways than can be assumed.
The group apprehends a delinquent teen after being egged. They drop him off at the police station, and he is promptly released. On the boy’s way home, he is attacked by a mysterious hidden figure that moves quickly. While celebrating their first citizen’s arrest Evan and the gang hit something with Evan’s soccer mom SUV. They discover green slime and strange body parts resembling an octopus. The watch also finds a strange orb with destructive capabilities and take it with them.
An old war veteran calls the watch to his home after hearing something on his roof. When the team arrives, Evan discovers the man’s dead body and the mysterious creature that has been killing the people of Glenview…an alien. Evan knocks the alien unconscious just as it is about to attack Jamarcus with the only weapon he could find, a garden gnome.
The watch brings the unconscious alien to Bob’s man cave, where they take selfies with it and celebrate their victory. The alien escapes and takes the orb with him after uttering the words “we are already among you” Later, Jamarcus exposes himself as an alien after learning the other aliens were ready to transmit a signal to the armada and occupy Earth.
The watch is disgusted by Jamarcus and tell him to leave. They head to Franklin’s mother’s house to arm themselves using Franklin’s incredible weapons stash. They successfully enter the alien hive inside Costco. They fair well against the aliens with their weapons until they are nearly overrun. Jamarcus arrives and saves the day by showing the team the aliens’ weak spot: their crotches. Evan is able to disable the transmitter by detaching the orb, and the watch use it to destroy the entire Costco with the hive trapped inside.
Written by Claudio Carvahlo and directed by David Gordon Green, The Watch is a fresh take on visitors from outer space. The creative team behind The Watch combined classic alien tropes with hilarious new additions including the location of their weakest point. The character Jamarcus shows that not all aliens may want to destroy humanity, some just want to enjoy the perks of life in Middle America. This fun twist on an otherwise stagnant concept and genre brought something entirely new to the table.
If aliens do exist they very well may want to steal our skin. They may tear our bodies apart without remorse. They may also agree that Costco has everything a lifeform could need, whether you are planning a party or planning to transmit a signal to an alien armada. As humans, we are often taught to fear the unknown, why not make fun of it instead? If you do experience an invasion in this lifetime, the hero you need may not be the hero you expect.